The beginning of a new year means a clean slate to create change. This is why January is typically the month with the highest rate of new divorce filings. If you are heading toward, in, or have made it through a divorce, here are a few resolutions you may want to add to your list as you begin to create a new chapter of your life.
1. Find Inner Peace
The end of a marriage can feel like a roller coaster emotionally. In the weeks, months, and, even years following breakups, I've found myself flipping on a dime from anger to resentment, blame, excitement, and more. The biggest thing I've learned is that when your focus is on the negative, it can be really hard to move forward. The New Year is the perfect time to let go of the past and let go of these feelings. If I'm honest with myself, sometimes it can feel good to be angry at people and there's a part of me that likes holding onto that anger but the truth is that ultimately just holds me back from what I want to achieve in life. Holding on to resentments doesn't punish your ex – it just takes your energy away from the things that could really be pushing you forward in life. I know it's hard, but take this fresh start as a chance to let go of the things you can't control and focus on those that you can – your peace and your happiness.
2. Say No to Negativity
In ways, this goes with the first point but it's worth repeating and expanding to every aspect of your life. At a point, negativity doesn't serve you (louder for the people in the back)... Negativity does NOT serve you. Constantly complaining about things will never lead to fixing the problem; it only keeps your mind focused on what's bad and stops you from looking for real proactive solutions. When you come across a challenge, change the way you look at it. Ask, “What can I do to make this situation a little better?” Don’t focus on the end result – just take one step at a time. Small but consistent steps can get you very far.
3. Put Yourself First
This can be a hard concept for people, especially if they have children. But you can only give to others in your life when you have first cared for yourself, otherwise, you’ll have nothing to give. If you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see, start exercising consistently. If you feel stressed all the time, resolve to say no more often when people ask you to do things and take up meditation. When you are doing things in a healthy way that make you feel good, you will have so much more to give.
4. Analyze your Finances
Divorce changes the financial picture for almost every single person who has ever been through the process. This is the time to meet with a financial advisor who can help you create a plan and a budget, help you reinvest for your future, and ensure you are protecting yourself in the future. This is also a good time to meet with an estate-planning attorney to protect your loved ones from the probate system and minimize taxes for them if your estate is passed on.
5. Show Kindness Daily
When you do something nice for others – whether that’s sharing a compliment, buying a coffee, or volunteering your time – it not only makes others feel good, but it has a way of making you feel good. If you focused on showing at least one act of kindness every day, 2024 will be very different than 2023.
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O'Connor Family Law is proud to be built on the principle that, with the correct guidance, a person can come out of a divorce or family-law-related dispute in a better position than coming in, both legally and personally. That's why our team provides a holistic approach with clients. With an on-staff divorce coach package included as part of qualifying cases and dedicated family law attorneys, we work to arm our clients with actionable strategies and tools to help them create the lives that have always wanted and forge their own pathways to progress.