We Divorced, But Now We’re Back Together–What Now?

Divorce is often seen as the final word on a relationship. But people are complicated, life is funny, and sometimes, those who were vicious towards each other during a divorce proceeding can get back together after all. Besides making an interesting story, however, there are some real financial and legal consequences to this decision. Here is what to know if you and your ex have decided to get back together.

Why Would a Divorced Couple Get Back Together?

It might be puzzling to others that two people who divorced would get back together, but it is not completely uncommon. 

Several factors may lead former spouses to reconnect:

• Time and distance provide clarity: Once the intensity of the divorce fades, some couples realize the foundation of their relationship is still strong.
• Shared parenting responsibilities: Regular communication about the children may gradually rebuild trust or emotional closeness.
• Personal growth and therapy: Counseling or individual self-work may help resolve previous conflict patterns. 
• Familiarity- even in toxic relationships: In some situations, people return to a relationship because it’s familiar, even if unhealthy.

Regardless of motivation, getting back together after a divorce is a major decision with important legal implications. 

Should You Get Back Together?

Ultimately, it is up to the exes to make this decision. Not every reunion is healthy or sustainable, and certain warning signs can indicate potential problems. Returning to a relationship with unresolved abuse, repeated infidelity, or deception can be dangerous. Ongoing financial or legal complications, such as disputes over property or support, can create stress that prevents the renewed relationship from getting off the ground. 

From the attorney’s perspective, getting back together can have legal and financial consequences. Here is what exes getting back together should consider. 

The first thing couples need to understand is that, even if they were previously married, getting back together after a divorce does not make them married again. Something that some couples do not understand is that, once the divorce is final, the parties are legally considered single. Simply living together or rekindling a romantic relationship does not automatically reinstate your marital status. To be legally married again, you must go through the marriage process from the beginning. Yes, your ex-husband can be your boyfriend. He is not your husband until or unless you formally remarry. 

Relatedly, divorce decrees remain in effect until a divorce is legally reversed or you remarry, and this will continue to govern your rights and obligations. Property allocated in the divorce remains legally yours or your ex’s unless a new agreement is made. Even if you are cohabitating again, the property is separate in the eyes of the law. 

Similarly, obligations to pay or receive alimony or spousal support generally continue unless they are formally modified or terminated. Reconciliation alone does not cancel these payments. Note that general alimony in Massachusetts may be modified if the receiving spouse cohabitates with a partner. Payments can be suspended, reduced, or terminated if the spouse maintains a “common household” with someone else for at least three continuous months. 

Courts consider factors such as:

• Whether you live together as a couple
• Shared financial responsibilities
• Public reputation as a couple
• Statements made about the relationship
• Mutual household planning

A court can suspend, reduce, or terminate alimony based on cohabitation- so it’s important to understand how your new living situation may affect support obligation. 

Parental rights and child custody orders also remain in force. Shared parenting responsibilities will continue as outlined by the court, unless changed by the court. If your reconciliation leads to cohabitation or remarriage, you may want to formally adjust custody or visitation orders to reflect your new family dynamic.

What to Consider When Getting Back With Your Ex

If you have decided that reuniting with your ex is the right move, consulting with a family law attorney is a good idea. They can help you to carefully review your divorce documents, including property division, support orders, and custody arrangements. The family attorney can work with you so that you understand any obligations or rights that might be affected by getting back together, particularly if you are cohabitating. 

If you are cohabitating but do not want to get remarried, you might consider getting a cohabitation agreement. Married couples have certain protections that unmarried couples do not. If a marriage ends, the parties have certain rights, but couples who simply cohabitate do not. This is where a cohabitation agreement comes in. Cohabitation agreements can provide clarity by documenting each partner’s rights and responsibilities.  

Cohabitation agreements can address:

• Ownership of jointly purchased property
• How expenses are shared
• What happens if one partner pays for home improvements
• Financial support for education or household needs
• Pet custody
• How disputes will be resolved if you separate

This document can help couples avoid costly legal battles if the relationship ends.

Some couples might simply cohabitate, while others may walk down the aisle a second time. If you are considering remarrying your ex-spouse, you will need to file a marriage license application in accordance with your state’s requirements, just as you did the first time around. Now that you are aware of some of the weaknesses of the relationship, you may want to draft a prenuptial agreement. A prenup is a legal contract created before marriage that outlines how assets, debts, and financial matters will be handled in the event of divorce or separation. You will also want to be sure to formally terminate or modify any alimony or child support obligations from your prior divorce through the court.

Consult With an Experienced Massachusetts Divorce Attorney

Reuniting after a divorce can be exciting, but it can also be a recipe for disaster. There are real legal and financial consequences if exes choose to do this. While the decision is ultimately up to the couple, it is a good idea to consult an experienced Massachusetts divorce attorney about how the reunion may affect you now and in the future.