A man and woman sitting across from one another. They look upset with each other.

Common Mistakes Made During Divorce

Avoid What Others Have Done

Divorce can be one of the most stressful things you might ever have to endure in your lifetime. Because of the flood of sadness and frustration you may be feeling coupled with the complexities of the legal process, it can be easy to make a mistake in the heat of the moment. Even the smallest mistake made in a divorce, however, could be incredibly costly.

Unfortunately, there are a number of mistakes that have been made multiple times in various divorce cases. Here are several of the more costly mistakes that you should be careful to avoid in your own divorce.

Mistake #1: A Mindset of Revenge

It’s natural to want to get even with someone who has wronged us, especially if that wrongdoing has resulted in the breakdown of an important relationship. However, going into a divorce with the goal of getting even with your spouse can only cause more harm than good. Your decisions, while seemingly satisfying at the moment, could end up dragging the process out longer, costing you more time and money. If you have children, they could be impacted by your actions, as well.

If you are struggling with the various emotions you are feeling, consider speaking with your attorney or seeking the help of a therapist or counselor.

Mistake #2: Agreeing to a Settlement to Get It Over With

It’s normal to want something difficult to pass from our lives as quickly as possible, and the same can be said of divorce. However, this mindset has caused many people to agree to settlements that are one-sided or unfair. Yes, divorce is difficult, but you deserve to receive what is rightfully yours after the divorce is done. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve because you just want the divorce to be over.

Mistake #3: Inattention to Important Details

The legal process requires you to fill out a lot of paperwork during your divorce, including important financial affidavits that disclose all of your assets. Unfortunately, some people, without thinking, fill the form out and miss key information that should have been included in their paperwork. Failure to disclose all assets could lead to serious consequences.

Take the time to ensure that your documents are accurate, and don’t sign anything without reviewing the paperwork with your divorce attorney.

Mistake #4: Failing to Look Ahead Financially

Your life is going to change after your divorce is finalized, and that includes your financial situation. The income that you shared with your spouse will be gone, meaning you have to survive off of your own income (as well as any spousal support awarded). Continuing to spend as normal during or after your divorce could lead to financial ruin.

Take the time necessary to create a plan for your financial future and examine your spending and savings. What is going to change? What will stay relatively the same?

Mistake #5: Harming Your Children

This mistake, while still based around your divorce, can have a serious impact on your kids. Hearing you badmouth your spouse, whether to their face or when they are not around, can cause your children to feel alienated from that parent or to turn against them (or you). Some parents go so far as to use their children as “middlemen” to speak to their spouse or to get information from them.

Keep your children out of your divorce as much as possible. While it’s important for them to know what’s going on, they do not need to relay information back and forth to and from their parents and hear negative talk. Remember that you are getting a divorce from your spouse; don’t end up divorcing yourself from your kids, too.

Mistake #6: Going It Alone

DIY projects can certainly be fun and lead to great results. There’s nothing quite like watching someone paint a room online and then replicating that yourself! However, DIY divorce is a big mistake. The complexities of the process require a careful eye for detail, and the stress of this change and the emotions you may be feeling may prevent you from giving this matter your full attention.

Working with a divorce attorney, however, is one of the smarter moves you can make during your divorce. They understand the law and know how to navigate the process; they can guide you each step of the way.

At O'Connor Family Law, we understand how you may be feeling because we’ve been there before. We want to help you turn the lemons life has handed you into lemonade. Let us help you get started on your next chapter.


To schedule a consultation or to get your questions answered by one of our divorce attorneys, call us at (774) 214-2137 or visit us online.

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