Why Choosing Your Own Happiness Is Not Wrong

June 20, 2022 O'Connor Family Law Divorce

Marriage & Happiness

Remember the warm happy feelings you had while you were dating your soon to be spouse, all of the fun and joyful times you had that felt like you couldn’t possibly imagine being any happier? Fast forward to real life post marriage – where jobs, household chores, managing schedules, childcare needs and bills are involved, in what was once your untainted love bubble there is now no time for a shower some days let alone date nights! What happens to your marriage when you have barely enough energy to get through the day let alone focus on happiness? Marriage requires constant nourishment and attention to grow and stay healthy just like any living thing, but it requires it of both parties in order to fully thrive. If the marriage reaches a point of contention, maliciousness and pain the question to ask yourself is am I happy?


Happiness impacts every aspect of our overall wellbeing and transcends into every action and interaction we have. A happy person is able to overcome obstacles, handle a busy day, find joy and purpose in what they have, exude love and affection but the same is not true for someone who is unhappy. An unhappy person, partner, spouse and or parent will be limited in the way they interact with those around them and in everything that they do from the constant drain of what it is that is making them unhappy which often has to do with a situation with their spouse. One of the most common statements I hear married people say is, “I want to stay together for the kids”, while this statement means well it can have adverse effects if the relationship is unhappy and unhealthy. Children are like sponges who mimic actions and behaviors from those around them which is heavily influenced by their parents, their perspective of what a relationship/marriage looks like is modeled by the parents.


While the process of divorce is often one of the most difficult things a person will go through in their lifetime it is also a very pivotal moment in a person’s life in terms of choosing to be happy and finding out what and how that looks like. Choosing your own happiness is not wrong nor is it selfish if anything it is the exact opposite, it is brave. Having the ability to recognize that you were in marriage or relationship that was no longer providing a healthy emotional, mental and physical environment is a tremendous accomplishment that requires self-awareness and vulnerability. By choosing your own happiness and fighting for a different life for yourself and your child(ren) will not only model boundaries and strength but it will also allow for you to be a more present, healthy role model. It’s not selfish to choose what’s healthiest for you before thinking of anyone else. Of course, choosing happiness looks different for everyone but like in any new venture it’s important to plan for the transition and the ability to support or get support for you and your child(ren) if any are involved, to understand the changes and how to cope with all of it. Get the care you need to heal and feel better and rediscover what it is that makes you happy.

At O’Connor Family Law, we can help you work through a divorce because we’ve been there before. Our team will help you throughout each step of the process while protecting your rights and defending you from any attack from your spouse.

To learn more about divorce in Massachusetts or Rhode Island and to speak with a member of our team you can call us at  774-703-3755 or by visiting our Contact Us page.