Why You Need a Trauma-Informed Lawyer

By Brittany Garvey

Let’s be honest: most people don’t call a lawyer when life is going well.

Whether you’re going through a divorce, a custody battle, or facing false accusations from someone you once trusted, chances are you’re already exhausted, overwhelmed, and running on fumes. And if you’ve experienced emotional abuse, domestic violence, or narcissistic manipulation, you’re not just navigating the legal system—you’re trying to survive it.

That’s why at O’Connor Family Law, we don’t just offer legal representation. We offer trauma-informed legal advocacy. And if you’ve never heard of that before? Buckle up—because it might just change everything about how you choose your lawyer.

What Does “Trauma-Informed” Even Mean?

Great question.

A trauma-informed lawyer is someone who understands how trauma impacts the brain, body, and behavior, and uses that knowledge to provide compassionate, client-centered legal services.

We’re not therapists (though we work with a few). But we do know that trauma can cause:

• Memory gaps
• Difficulty making decisions
• Heightened emotional reactivity
• Trouble with trust
• Panic in high-stress situations (like, say, court)

Instead of brushing that off or misinterpreting it, a trauma-informed lawyer works with it, not against it.

The Old-School Approach Isn’t Cutting It Anymore

Too many lawyers treat clients like case numbers. They expect you to hand over the facts, stay calm under pressure, and just “trust the process.” But when your world’s been turned upside down, that’s not only unrealistic—it’s harmful.

We’ve heard horror stories like:

“My old attorney told me to stop crying and focus.”
“They said my trauma wasn’t relevant.”
“They made me feel like I was the problem.”

No. Nope. Not here.

At O’Connor Family Law, we meet you where you are—even if that’s in the middle of a breakdown with mascara running down your face and a pile of text messages from your ex gaslighting you into oblivion.

5 Reasons You Need a Trauma-Informed Lawyer

We Understand What You’re Up Against

Trauma-informed lawyers get how narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, or coercive control can show up in a legal battle. We know the subtle power plays, the manipulation tactics, and the psychological warfare. And we know how to shut it down.

We Help You Feel Safe and Heard

Being seen and believed is powerful. You don’t have to prove your pain to us. You don’t have to relive every moment just to get us on your side. We believe you—and we help you feel safe enough to move forward.

We Build Strategy Around Your Lived Experience

Your trauma isn’t a side note—it’s part of the context. It influences how we build your case, communicate with opposing counsel, and even how we present your story to the court. We use your truth as your strength.

We Create Space for Healing While Fighting Fiercely

You don’t have to “be okay” all the time to have a powerhouse attorney. We know your healing doesn’t stop just because you’re in litigation. We’ll hold the legal burden so you can focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

We Won’t Let the System Re-Traumatize You

The court process can be brutal—especially if your trauma is being used against you. We prepare you for hearings, support you during testimony, and advocate in a way that minimizes re-traumatization and maximizes your power.

Real Life Example (Name Has Been Changed for Privacy):

“He told the judge I was unstable because he had a video of me losing it after he had pushed me over the edge yet again.”

Janelle had survived years of coercive control. Her ex was charismatic, clean-cut, and convincing. She was exhausted, scared, and emotionally raw.

“I had hit my limit. He told me that he’d make sure everyone believed I was the crazy one and that he’d end up taking our kids away from me. I know I lost it. But I gave him exactly what he was looking for – evidence that I was the problem instead of him.” 

We helped Janelle present her story with clarity, strength, and context. Her emotions weren’t a weakness—they were evidence of the hell she’d survived. With a trauma-informed strategy, she was able to keep custody and her voice moving forward (but in a less reactive way). 

Is This Just for Domestic Violence Survivors?

Nope. Trauma can stem from many types of situations:

• Toxic relationships (manipulation, control, narcissism)
• High-conflict custody disputes
• Childhood abuse or neglect
• Addiction
• Sexual assault
• Losing a child in court
• Financial control and devastation
• Or even … surviving a really rough divorce

If your nervous system is fried, your sleep is wrecked, and you feel like a shell of yourself, you deserve a lawyer who won’t treat you like a robot.

What Makes O’Connor Family Law Different?

• We don’t just say “trauma-informed” to sound nice.
• Our team receives specialized training in trauma responses and communication
• We integrate mental health referrals and support systems into our client services
• We use language that empowers, not retraumatizes
• We offer a complimentary Life Strategy Coach (yes, seriously) who helps you work through a lot of competing emotions and connect you with other professionals or organizations based on what you need most
• We actually care because we’ve been there.

When we say, “you’re never as bad as your worst mistake,” we mean it. When we say, “we believe you,” we mean it. When we say, “we’ll fight like hell for your future,” we do it.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken—You’re Healing

Trauma doesn’t make you a bad parent, a weak client, or an unreliable narrator. It makes you human. If you’re facing a legal battle and feel like no one sees the full picture, let us be your mirror—reflecting your strength, your truth, and your right to a better future. Contact our firm today to learn more.